No Buko, No Pie


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I’m a big girl now

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I saw them from afar – this married couple who are both physicians and both my colleagues in a former company. The fact that they know my face and my whole name says a lot about social media and possibly how much they have been talking about me. I’ve never talked to them, except for the wife who interviewed me years ago.

“Hello! Who is with you?”

That was a startling question for me. Do people really need to always be with somebody?

“It’s just me!” I said it with a smile and confidence.

“Are you shopping?”

For furniture, but I didn’t want to explain. “Yes, I am! Are you?”

And then they started cramming in what they were shopping for and why; that they were flooded in, and something about a leather jacket I didn’t comprehend – all within what’s left of the escalator ride.

With that, we parted ways and I proceeded to hunt for my book shelf.

I usually shop the way most strategic women do – check out the scene before you make a decision on what to buy. But for that night, I was a man. I went straight for the shelves, and when I found one that fits my loft, fits my price, and would be easy to transport, I bought it immediately.

Didn’t mind that I had to assemble everything myself. I was actually looking forward to the project. I had screw drivers and determination. Sales guy asked if I had a hammer – now that was something I had to find out. Nonetheless, I didn’t buy one. I figured I can just borrow from my neighbors and make a new friend.

Most Filipinos are a little co-dependent. I’m glad I’m not anymore. Why should I plan my day around another person’s schedule? Why should that be a deterrent to going to the gym, shopping, or going to a place you’ve always wanted to see? If you don’t do it now, you’re most likely never going to do it.

So I’m not bothered if I shop alone. I’m becoming a seasoned shopper because being alone allows me to deliberate, to plan my course of action, and to sprint (if that’s what it takes).

I sometimes travel alone so I don’t have to be bothered if the other person is at all interested with my impulsive decision to climb a wall because I saw it in the cab on the way to a museum, or even having the geeky thought of going to the museum in the first place.

In my rare alone time, I am secure enough to dine by myself. Why should it be an issue?

I have a sense of achievement for being decisive on home improvement, cause there’s no one there now to decide on how to fix the faucet, or make sure something sticks to the wall, or – on this particular night – how to build a bookshelf.

As soon as I arrived home, I searched for my screw drivers and some other tools. Found all of them. But I also found a 2-year-old unused hammer mingling with the others. I did forget that I have it.

I smiled with the memory of who got me the hammer in the first place.

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